6 year old on and off when school starts separation anxiety

My daughter is 6 and is about to start 1st grade. And every summer right before school starts each summer she starts having problems doing anything without me. Like going to grandma and grandpas to stay the night or even staying home with daddy while I go shopping. And is showing dislike for anything that doesn't involve mommy. What can I do to make this easier for her? Last year was pretty bad for about 2 months after she started but eventually, she was ok with help from the teacher every morning. I'm simply clueless!


First of all, please don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting is the hardest job in the world isn't it?

Here are some thoughts I have. It might be that she takes a little while after the beginning of the school year before she gets adjusted. Some children are more sensitive than others to transition. Your child might be one of these children.

Here are some tips for you.

1) Don't let on that you are feeling anxious at all about whats happening with her. Kids will feed off of your anxiety and that can really become something that exacerbates it. 

2) When school starts, don't linger around when you drop her off. Give her the message that you are confident she will be fine.

3)Reassure her that she is safe and that her teachers are good people who will care for her and who she will have fun with. Let her see you talking to them and referring to them by name as if you are friendly. 

4) Let her know what you are doing and when you will be back, and let her know you have confidence in her that she will have fun and be fine. 

5) You can also provide her with a transitional picture of you, although she may be a little old for that. You can see if this is a helpful thing for if she starts to miss you. 

6) You can use your speech to portray your confidence rather than anxiety. " Mommy will be back at 3." Rather than " Will you be okay until mommy comes back at 3?"

I hope these ideas are helpful. If the anxiety lasts for more than two months, I would explore getting her into therapy.

Good Luck!


Kristen McClure

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Separation Anxiety Q and A.